Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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