you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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