Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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