Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
