People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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