I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
