...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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