i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize