I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
