it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
