My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wish they made helmets for livers.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
