So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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