You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
