Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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