Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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