i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
