Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
