She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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