Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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