That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
