I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
