btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
