the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
