I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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