did you get engaged???
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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