Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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