I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
