I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
