i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
