i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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