The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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