at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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