i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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