Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
