I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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