I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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