Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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