Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
