her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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