Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
