Yo dont text me then not text me
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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