Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
