dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
