I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She bit a glass in half.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
They have beer where we have blood.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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