just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Alive.
So much puke
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
