i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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