I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
