lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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