dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
