I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
