So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
