Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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