im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
