Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
In other news, I just burned my penis
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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