so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
