I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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